How to Love
by lola.c.prior
Summary: How do you love somebody that moved away when he found out that you were pregnant with his kid? How do you know that he was scared-that he would turn out like his father and of being a parent? And when he comes back to you two and a half years later, is it even possible to love him? Modern Day AU/Fourtris/Rated T-M
1. Chapter 1

**How do you love somebody that moved away when he found out that you were pregnant with his kid? How do you know that he was scared-that he would turn out like his father and of being a parent? And when he comes back to you two and a half years later, is it even possible to love him? Modern Day AU/Fourtris/Rated T-M**

* * *

**Tris POV:**

My hand guides its way across each aisle, walking me past each candy or energy drink section. I can do it blindfolded. I come here at least three times a week now.

And it's normally fairly pleasant. Nearly all Seven Elevens are.

"Hey," an all-too-familiar voice says in front of me.

I don't look up.

"Hey, Tris," he says. Then he sighs, "C'mon, talk to me."

I step back, suddenly forgetting that I'm here to get animal crackers for Lily.

"Tris," he begs.

"N-no," I stammer out. "You're not supposed to be here!"

Heads turn in the mini-mart.

"Tobias," I whisper furiously, "What are you doing here?"

He cracks a smile. "Just thought I'd come back to town. I heard you had my kid."

"Let's go outside," I say after a while. "We need to talk."

"Wait," he says. "Can I get you anything?"

I look down at the list in my hand. _Animal crackers and Trident bubblegum_, it reads.

"Yeah," I say.

Tobias takes out his wallet.

"I got this," I say quickly, taking out mine.

"Nah," he tells me. "I ran away from you for two and a half years. It's the least I can do."

I flinch. Must he bring it up now?

When we finally get outside, Tobias offers me a beer.

I laugh. "Are you kidding?" I say. "I'm twenty. I live with my dad, who loves the law more than the president and I have a job working a cash register at a tattoo parlor. Oh, and I almost forgot. _I have a kid._ The least thing I want right now is a beer."

Tobias shrugs and opens one for himself. "Just wondering," he tells me, as he sits down on the curb.

"So," I say, sitting down next to him. "What are you doing in Chicago after all these years?"

He shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. "I took a year off of college to travel."

"And just happened to end up in your home town? What is this, a television sitcom?"

Tobias shakes his head again and grins. "Wow," he says.

"What?"

"You really are a character."

I roll my eyes. "_Please._ You left me when you found out I was pregnant a month before I graduated high school."

"Tris," he whispers. "I was scared."

"So was I. But I have a child now. And all I know about you is that you're the father of my daughter and that you need to get a life." What I don't tell him is that I was scared the night we did it. I was always taught to frown upon PDA and I should have just listened to my father when he taught me selfless values after my mother died.

"A daughter?" he asks anxiously.

I nod.

"What's her name?"

"Lily," I respond. "Lilian Natalie Prior."

"Will I get to see her?"

I shrug.

"Tris," he pleads. "You've got to understand. I left because I was afraid I'd turn out like Marcus."

I gasp. Once upon a time, when Tobias and I were close, he'd told me that Marcus had beaten him. "Yeah," I say after a while. "I...I guess I'll let you meet Miss Lily."

Tobias grins and wraps his arms around me, just like he did when we were close. Who cares if he's doing this just because he's drunk and has to get away from his father? Hopefully with Tobias coming back to Chicago, the old one I knew and loved will come back with him.

"Tris," he whispers in my ear. "I love you. I've missed you."

And maybe I would say it back, but all I know is that I love Lily. Maybe I'll feel the same way about Tobias as I did two years ago, but for now, he's just going to have to make it up to me while he's here.

If he is staying at all.

* * *

"So," Caleb tells me. "Did you hear Tobias Eaton is in town?"

I gulp. Maybe if I don't say anything, the topic will change.

Then my father looks up from his newspaper and nods. "Marcus told me yesterday." He glances at me, and I look down to my lumpy oatmeal. I feed some to Lily, which she takes generously. Then I look back to my father. "He also told me that Tobias was planning to speak with you," he continues.

"Oh," I say. Did Tobias just run into me on 'accident' yesterday? Although, I'm sure Marcus told Tobias all about Lily and beat him for taking away my virginity. I'm not surprised if he did. Marcus and my father are good friends. They share a law firm together, one of the most successful ones in Chicago, and never keep secrets from each other.

"Are you going to meet up with him?" Caleb asks. He glances at Lily, who suddenly pouts.

"She's got to meet her father sometime," I tell both people in front of me.

"Beatrice, are you sure that's the best idea?" my father asks.

"Yeah, Beatrice," Caleb says. "You don't want Tobias to get any wrong ideas."

"What wrong ideas?" I stand up, suddenly furious. "Look, in your eyes, Lily is probably seen as a mistake that Tobias and I made, but I love her. And I don't care what you both have to say about this. Dad, you taught me that having two adults in a child's life provides stable care. Caleb, you work at the hospital. You know that that is true as well. So for your information, when the time is right, I will show Tobias Lily."

Caleb lets out a small laugh. "So you're just going to forgive him for all he's done?"

I bite my lip. "Why not? Maybe I don't like his choices, but I respect them. He was probably just scared of being a parent. And now that he's back, maybe he's not as scared."

My father stands up. "Beatrice, that is enough. I do not want Tobias Eaton in your life."

"Why not?"

Before my father can answer, Caleb looks to him. "Listen, dad. Yeah, Tobias did something terrible to Tris. But maybe it's good to have him back. He can explain what he did and why to her."

My jaw drops, then turns into a smile. "How can you say that?" I ask Caleb. "Yeah, we were taught that public displays of affection were looked down upon, and I was scared the night it happened, but it wasn't Tobias' fault. I-we-weren't really aware of what we were doing at the time."

My father grumbles. "Fine. Beatrice, you may see Tobias, but _only_ if he wants to see you."

I smirk. "Oh, I have a strong feeling that he wants to see me."

"_Mama_," Lily whines.

I narrow my eyes at the men in front of me. "Do not blame Tobias for what happened that night."

"Did you already talk to Tobias?" Caleb asks.

"I-I've got to go change Lily's diaper," I say quickly. I pick her up and rush up the stairs into our bedroom.

"I'm almost done, Lily," I say. "Stop squirming."

"Beatrice," a voice insists. "Did you already see him?"

I whip my head around. "Caleb, you know I don't like it when you come in here."

Caleb shrugs and walks over to Lily.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I already told you," he responds, putting a gray shirt on Lily. "Did you talk to Tobias?"

"When would I have?" I ask.

Caleb shrugs. "He came in yesterday afternoon. You could have seen him last night."

I bite my cheek. "But I didn't." Then I walk towards Caleb. "This really isn't all you came here for, was it?"

Caleb shakes his head. "Do you need a ride to work?"

"Sure." I pick up Lily. "Thanks for dressing her."

Caleb grins and tickles Lily. She lets out a small laugh, which makes Caleb chuckle lightly. "Anytime."

* * *

I swipe some guy's credit card at the register and hand it back to him.

"Thanks for supporting our business," I say flatly, reciting the exact words that Tori has me say every time.

"Thank _you_," he says, flashing me a wiry smile. He takes his credit card from me, giving me a peek at the dragon tattoo he got on his wrist. Then he waves to Tori and walks out.

I turn back to Tori, who's cleaning off her airbrushes. "Hey," she says, looking up.

"Hi."

"Where's Lily today?"

"Daycare," I respond.

"Did you hear-"

"Yeah," I say. "Tobias is in town. Everyone I see tells me."

"Are you going to talk to him?"

I shrug. "Depends if he wants to talk to me. But between you and me, I saw him yesterday."

Tori gasps. "You did _not_."

"I did."

"...And what did you tell him?"

I shrug. "He just told me that he was scared and that's why he left. And that he wants to meet Lily."

"Are you going to let him?"

"I guess."

Then, the bell on the door jingles.

Tobias walks in. He looks at me. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I work here," I say. "What are you doing here?"

"I want a tattoo. Is this not the place to get one?"

Tori clears her throat. "Umm, I'll be in the back if you need me, Tris."


	2. Chapter 2

**Tris POV:**

"And what happened after that?" Christina asks.

"Well, Tori left the room and Tobias told me to meet him with Lily the next day at the park."

"And are you going to go?"

"I guess."

"Are you going to pay him back?"

"As in...?"

"So," Christina says. "He told you he wants you back?"

"Yeah."

"So play hard to get. Be difficult. Make him want you."

"And that will be payback?"

"I don't know," she says. "I guess. I'm not good with these things. Now, say Tobias kissed you today. Then I would know what to do!"

"Listen, I gotta go," I say quickly. "My dad's calling me."

"Tris-" Christina says, but I hang up before I can finish.

I throw my cellphone down and collapse down on my bed.

"Beatrice!" my dad calls, for real this time.

I groan and get up, rushing down the stairs. "Yes?"

"That was Tobias Eaton on the phone. He wants to see you now. He'll be coming over in a few minutes."

"That soon?"

"Yes, that soon. Why? Did you already speak with him?"

I bite my lip and shake my head.

Then someone's fist pounds on the front door. I would know that rhythmic knock anywhere. I walk past my dad and answer the door.

"Tobias," I say. "What a surprise."

"Can I see Lily?" he asks.

"We'll see," I say. "First, we've got to talk about why you suddenly decide to show up in Chicago after all these years."

* * *

***Flashback to Two and One Half Years Ago***

_"Tris?" Tobias asked me. "Are you ready?"_

_It was the second Friday of May, the night of my Prom. But instead of going, Tobias was going to take me to dinner in downtown Chicago. And then we were going to go to the after party._

_But it all changed when I stepped foot into this bathroom and peed onto a tiny pink stick whilst I held back tears. Not only was I pregnant, but I was scared to death. Our fathers wouldn't kill us; they'd skin us alive and roast us for dinner, while scolding us for doing such a rotten thing at our age. But apart from that, everything was weird. But I still wasn't sure if I regretted it at all or not. Doing it was always one of my fears, and actually coming through with it did not make that fear go away._

_But for now, Tobias wouldn't stop banging on the door._

_"Tris?" he asked anxiously. "Are you alright?"_

_"I-I," I stuttered out. Then I took a deep breath. "I guess so."_

_"Tris," he scolded, his voice muffled through the door. "Tell me what's wrong."_

_I stayed quiet._

_"Tris," he said, quieter and gentler this time. "Please, tell me."_

_"N-nothing," I blurted out. "It's j-just m-my period."_

_"Oh," Tobias said, sounding disgusted and suddenly uninterested. "Is that it?"_

_"Yeah," I mumbled. But a voice in my head insisted that I tell him what was happening. So a moment later, I straightened my hair and shirt and opened the bathroom door._

_"Finally you're out," Tobias said, standing up. He smiled and walked towards me. "I was beginning to think that something was wrong," he whispered, putting his arms around my neck and finally pressing his lips to mine._

_I pulled back panting. What was wrong with me? Usually, I loved Tobias' kisses. But then, I was suddenly scared of any physical contact with him._

_"What was that?" he asked. Then he looked deep into my eyes. "What's bothering you?"_

_"I'm pregnant," I blurted out. "I'm having a baby and have no idea what to do about it."_

_"No," Tobias said. "We're having a baby." Then he looked down to my stomach. "Are you sure?"_

_"Yes," I whispered. "I'm sure. Are you sure you're okay with this?"_

_Tobias' gaze traveled up to my lips. "Yes I'm sure."_

_But by the next month, he was gone. Tobias had transferred to Boston University._

* * *

**Back to Present Day:**

Tobias ends up taking me to a diner we used to go to. "Now we can talk in peace," he says, sitting down into a red-cushioned booth. "Consider it neutral territory."

"Neutral, huh?" I smirk. "Does that qualify if your father knows the owner?"

Tobias shrugs. "That counts for both of us. Now, how does a chili burger with onion rings sound?"

"Sounds like what I craved during my pregnancy."

Tobias looks down blushing. "You know, Tris, I really am sorry for leaving you. I just-"

"Just couldn't help it, huh? Well, that's too bad. But what you did happened and we can't just let it go."

"Tris, I've told you, I was scared. And it was wrong of me to act like that, but..." He takes a deep breath. "I've been away for you for too long. I missed you."

"Then why'd you go? What's the real reason? I can't possibly believe that you were just too 'scared.'"

"Well you should," he says back. "Because it's true."

"But there's more to it than that."

Tobias sighs. "I had to get away from my father, and Boston was the only place that wouldn't make me repeat freshman year after the year I spent at Loyola."

That's not all the reason he has for leaving, I can feel it. But maybe that's all he wants to tell me now. I glance back up to him, his eyes peacefully glazing over the menu.

I clear my throat. "Well, I'll let you meet Lily."

Tobias' eyes light up. "Really?"

"If you promise to be her father for the rest of her life."

Tobias frowns. "But I always was her father."

"No," I say. "I want you to be there for her. I know you have bad memories with your father, and I don't want Lily to share that experience with you. I want you to be there for her first dance recital, first sports game, first everything." I lean in towards Tobias. "I know you're capable of this. And by coming here, you have overcome the fear that drove you out of this place."

After dinner, Tobias drives me home.

"Wait," I say, when he's about to pull out of the driveway. "Come in with me."

"Now? I'd be slaughtered by your father."

"Yes, now. And I'll explain everything to him." I narrow my eyes at Tobias. "You're the one that wanted to see Lily."

Tobias hesitates. "O...okay," he says after a long silence.

"Here," I say, handing Lily over to Tobias, once we're in my room.

Tobias grins. "Hey beautiful," he says to Lily. There's really no doubt about it; random strangers compliment me on my baby's beauty. She's got my blonde hair, but isn't so pale. And her bright shockingly blue eyes are round and open, ready to jump at anything. Lily looks so much like her father. She's got a long torso and her chubby baby cheeks and thighs make her look healthy and pretty.

Tobias looks back to me. "You did good."

I glance up to him. "Yeah," I say quietly.

Lily squirms in his lap. Tobias holds her close, as if she's the only thing that's keeping her alive.

"I should go," he says after a while.

"It's only seven-thirty," I respond.

"My dad wanted me back an hour ago."

"My dad wanted none of this to happen," I say back, then glance at Lily, who laughs. She reaches for me, and I take her into my arms.

Tobias puts his hands on his hips and looks around. "It's just how it was two years ago," he says to himself.

I look at him. "Really?"

"Yeah," he says. "The plain gray walls and Radiohead poster. Oh, the baby crib. That's new."

"Certainly is," I say to myself.

Tobias turns to me. "You haven't changed much," he tells me.

I let out a small laugh. "Really? Having a kid didn't change me at all?"

Tobias smirks. "You're still pretty."

"I've put on ten pounds since you last saw me."

"That doesn't matter; you always were one of the best athletes."

"My sport now is chasing Lily around the house."

He smirks. "And you've still got that beautiful witty personality."

"The same one that got me sent to the principle's office in seventh grade?"

Tobias grins. "That's the one."

"Well," I say. "You've changed quite a bit."

"College does that to people," he replies.

"I guess," I say.

"Goddammit Tris," Tobias mutters. "Kiss me already will you?"

I hadn't realized it before, but I now just notice that I've been staring at his lips this whole time. I shift Lily onto my side and wrap one of my arms around Tobias' neck. And he kisses me back.

Here we stand, one young happy family, finally getting the love we deserve.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Tris POV:)**

When Tobias finally goes downstairs, I go with him.

"Oh," I say blandly, blinking rapidly. "Marcus, what a surprise."

Marcus smiles at me and stands up. "Tobias, what are you doing here?" he asks his son angrily. "You've caused enough trouble already."

I snap to defend Tobias. "In his defense, he called before he came. I thought you knew."

"Well, I didn't know," Marcus says. Then he sees Lily in my arms and puts his arms out. I hesitantly give her to him.

"Umm, Tobias, I'll walk you to the car," I say. Then I turn to Marcus. "It was good seeing you."

"Likewise, Beatrice," he replies, not once taking his eyes off Lily.

"Come on," I tell Tobias. I open the front door for him and we walk out together.

Once we are outside, I let out a breath of hurried air.

"What?" Tobias asks.

"It...it's just that Marcus has _never_ been interested in Lily. He used to tell me that he hates little children. I bet he's in there tickling her now."

"Huh," Tobias responds. "Do you think now that I'm here, he wants to claim guardianship over Lily?"

I shrug. "Maybe. But we can't let him do that! He's not even her father."

"I agree," Tobias says, walking towards me. "So what should we do?"

I shrug again.

"Maybe...We could..." Tobias starts, but he doesn't continue.

"What?" I ask. "Do you have any ideas? How do I even know that you're not just going to ditch me tomorrow?"

Tobias steps forward and presses his lips against mine. When I pull apart breathing, he looks into my eyes. "Because," he says. "Now that Lily and you are in my life, I have two fabulous ladies that are mine to protect."

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years and Five Months Ago***

_"So that's how Will and I are. How about you and Tobias?" Christina asked. "Is he coming today?"_

_I shook my head. Luckily, we were graduating that day, and still only one month pregnant, no one at school could tell that I was pregnant._

_"Aww, that's too bad," Christina said, as she plugged in her curling iron. "Do you know how long your brother's speech will be?"_

_I shook my head again. Knowing Caleb, the class valedictorian, his speech would either last for half an hour, or half a day. Either way, it would be way too long._

_I glanced back up to Christina and grinned. "Eager to graduate?"_

_She sighed. "Am I ever," she retorted, as she started curling her hair._

_"There's something I should tell you," I said quietly._

_"Hmm?" Christina asked, as she frowned at a curl of hair and re-twisted it._

_"I-I'm pregnant," I blurted out._

_Christina dropped her curling iron and screamed. "Damn!" she yelled. Then she giggled as she smiled at me. "Nearly fried my hair there." Then she looked softly into my eyes, not bothering to pick up the fallen curling iron, and enveloped me in a hug. "Aww, Trissy," she whispered._

_For once, I didn't care if she used that nickname I hated. For once, I allowed myself to appear weak. And for once, Christina didn't care if I was sobbing into her new yellow Abercrombie hoodie. She just let me cry, while she stroked my pinned-up hair._

_"Tobias'?" she asked._

_I nodded._

_"And this is why he left."_

_Another nod._

_"Does anyone else know?"_

_I shake my head._

_"Not even your parents? What about his?"_

_I still shake my head._

_"Oh, Tris," Christina says, sniffling a bit herself. And at that moment, I realized for about the hundredth time that Christina was a true friend. Then she laughed. "I bet we look like crap, but that's okay." Then she unwrapped her arms from her lock around me, wiping tears off my face. Endless extras replaced them. "You're okay," she whispered encouragingly._

_But when we got to school an hour later, for the last time in my four years here, everything just reminded me of Tobias._

* * *

**Back To Present Day:**

People are constantly telling me to enjoy life as it is now, but the more I think about what strangers who think they know me tell me, I feel as if they are saying that I had better enjoy my life now because it's going to get a lot harder.

In a way, they are right. Things always get a lot more complicated than they already are.

But those strangers are also wrong. Yeah, things always get harder. But we just learn to accept our fates and deal with them.

That's what I've done for the past two and a half years, and it's worked fine. You see, I have this theory, when I actually have free time away from Hannah or my online classes or job with Tori, that life isn't supposed to go perfectly. I see life as a challenge. A challenge to get through each day, a challenge to be a better person that the guy that was pushed off the bus for bringing a knife in on my way to work, and a challenge to be a good role model for Lily. Yeah, my life is hell, but I've worked through it.

And maybe, just maybe, with Tobias back in town, my life will slowly work its way back to what others consider 'normal.'

"Whatcha thinking about?" Tori asks me.

I turn my attention from the cash register over to her. "Normal."

"Ah," Tori responds, setting down her tools. She tucks a piece of hair behind her head and straightens her denim vest. "Normal. What everyone wants to be."

"Yeah," I respond, looking down.

Tori looks at her watch. "Closing time," she says. Then she glances to me. "Need a ride home?"

Sure," I say. I grab my purse and coat.

"First stop," Tori says, as we get into her rundown station wagon Subaru. "Starbucks."

"Alright," I say, while Tori starts up her car.

When we get there, Tori looks to me. "Want an overpriced pastry? They're my secret indulgence."

I shake my head. "No thanks."

"Well," she says, "I'm going to order."

She steps up and orders a chai latte, then looks at me.

I shake my head again.

"You sure?" she asks.

I nod. Then I look up to the guy at the register._ Al,_ his nametag reads. "Al?" I ask, dumbfounded.

He looked up from the debit card that Tori gave him. "Tris?"

I nod, then look down blushing.

"I heard Tobias is in town," he said.

"Yeah," I responded awkwardly.

"And are you going to give him another chance?"

I shrug.

"Well," he says. "I'm always available if you want to grab a bite or go the pier or something."

I stay silent.

Tori elbows me. "Say something," she mutters against her teeth.

"Umm," I say to Al. "I-I'll let you know when I'm available."

Al grins at me, and hands Tori back her debit card.

"What was that all about?" Tori asks me, on the way to my house.

I stare out the car window, watching raindrops fall down it. I feel just like them inside.

"_Tris_," Tori presses. "What was that all about?"

I blink rapidly. "I have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Tris," she says. "I'm not dumb."

I sigh. "Al, he and I used to be an item, after Tobias left me."

"...And?"

I shrug. "He never was my type of guy."

"What do you mean?"

"He..." Another shrug. "He was too shy, and...I don't know. I feel like he was too desperate. I kind of dated him because I would have felt guilty not doing it. At the time, I felt as if he was just having me to brag to his buddies. It just didn't feel right. And with Tobias? It felt right. I felt loved. And then...and then he just left me."

Tori sips her chai latte and stares at the red light. "You know Tris," she tells me. "I would give Tobias another chance."

"Oh?"

"It sounds like he really loved you. And while I don't know everything that went on between you two, I know enough to know that he respected you."

"Thanks Tori," I say, when she pulls into my driveway. "For everything."

* * *

"Look at the view," I mutter to Lily, as I place her on my hip. "Your father gave me my first kiss here."

She squeals and claps her hands together, as I stare out into the park that Tobias and I first felt our love for each other.

A voice behind me clears his deep throat. I gasp and whip my head around.

"Tobias," I say. "You've been here for not even a week, and all you seem to do is want to follow me around."

He chuckles and lifts Lily from me. "Let's take a walk, shall we?" he asks.

"Sure," I say. "But Lily and I have to be home by five."

Tobias ignores me and looks at Lily, stroking her beach blonde hair. "It's time we really talked," he says.

I sigh. "We've talked about five times in the past three days."

"Tris, I'm serious," he says.

"Okay," I say after a while. "What is it?"

"I want you and Lily to move back to Boston with me."

"No," I say, not even thinking twice.

"Tris."

"No," I repeat simply. "You left me for two years because I was pregnant."

"Because I was scared of becoming like Marcus!" he says, his voice growing louder by the minute.

I sigh. "Give me some time," I tell him. "And I'm not leaving Chicago. My whole life is here. My mother's _grave_ is here."

Tobias stares out to the dying orange sunset. "I didn't forget about you," he tells me. "I just wanted to get away from Marcus."

I stare at him, urging him to continue. "And," he says. "I felt that within two years, Marcus would forget about me, and I could still some back and raise your kid."

I brush a piece of hair out of my face, and take a step towards Tobias. "_Our_ kid," I remind him, before passionately kissing him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tris POV:**

Right when I break apart from Tobias' lips, a voice clears his low throat awkwardly.

I turn my head around and gasp.

I'm facing Al.

"T-Tris," he mumbles, but sees Tobias and runs away before he can continue.

I look at Tobias and wince at his confused face. "I-it's n-nothing," I stutter out.

But he rolls his eyes. "Tris, what was that really?"

I sigh and take Lily out of his arms. I set her down and we start to walk. "Al dated me when you left me," I say. "But I swear I didn't forget about you. I just...felt guilty to turn him down."

"Did you...?" he asks.

I blush and shake my head. "Tobias, you were my only one." When I glance back up to him, I see him breath a sigh of relief. And maybe, I think, maybe there's a chance he still cares about me.

And I really really really hope that hunch is right.

"I...I should tell you something too," Tobias says after a while. "I dated this one girl Nita. She was all into anarchy and protesting against the government and people that test animals with their products. We didn't last long because I think she liked me more than I liked her. But I just thought you should know."

"Thanks," I say. "I guess if we want to be friends-"

He frowns.

"Okay, more than friends," I say. "We shouldn't keep secrets from each other."

"Yeah," he mutters to himself. Then Tobias looks at me. "How about dinner tonight?"

"We did dinner last night. I worked today. If you don't mind, I'd like to get home."

"Oh, right," he says awkwardly. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," I say softly. "Tomorrow night, maybe."

"Yeah, okay," Tobias tells me. "Tomorrow night."

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years Ago***

_"Beatrice," my father told me. "Are your feet getting swollen? I knew that running is bad for you."_

_I sighed. "_Dad_, I'm fine. My feet are just tired. Yeah, they're tired," I said, then trying more to convince myself than my father. "That's all. But they're fine. Totally fine..."_

_My father took a deep breath. "Do you need to see a doctor?"_

_"No!" I cried out immediately._

_He looked at me cautiously. "Are you sure?"_

_I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek._

_"Well, be careful," he reminded me._

_"Okay," I said quietly, knowing that if I didn't respond, he would have wanted me to go to the doctor. Tentatively, I placed my hand over my queasy stomach._

_Then it rumbled. I ran towards the bathroom._

_"Beatrice!" my father scolded, as I retched over the toilet. "What did I tell you about running in the house?" Then he stomped over towards me, as I fell against the wall gasping._

_"Beatrice," he said, softer now. "What_ is_ the matter with you?"_

_And before I could respond, he sighed. "I'm making an appointment for you with Doctor Fernando tomorrow."_

_"Dad."_

_"Beatrice."_

_"Dad," I said angrily. "I'm not going."_

_He sighed. "Beatrice, look at you. Your feet are swollen and the toilet is filled with your vomit. If your mother were alive, what would she say?"_

_"Don't bring her up."_

_"Beatrice, I'm just trying to explain to you how I see this situation. If this was no big deal, you'd go tomorrow."_

_"Dad, please."_

_"Beatrice, that is enough."_

* * *

**Back to Present Day: The Next Day**

I think part of the reason that so many people misunderstand me isn't only because of my teen pregnancy, but my mother dying when I was fourteen.

She was driving me to my swim meet, the same team that I'd been on for five years. She dropped me off, then went to find parking, when a car hit her.

I never saw her at my swim meet. Our coach, Amar, ran to tell me the news, just as I was up to do the fifty metre butterfly.

I got into position.

"Tris!" Amar called.

I looked back, just as the whistle was blown.

"There's been an accident!" he told me. "Your mother is dead!"

I had no idea how to process this. My knees just buckled and I fell into the pool, gaining tenth, also known as last, place.

"Lily," I say now, whispering to my daughter. "It's time for you to see your Grandma's grave."

I place her in her car seat and drive to Oak Woods Cemetery. The whole way, Lily stays silent.

"Nanna," she says, as I bring her to my mother's headstone.

"Yeah," I respond quietly, as I read off the gray stone. It's simple, just as my mother would have wanted. _Natalie Rose Prior, mother, daughter, wife, lover of God's creation_, it reads, just as my mother would have wanted.

"Tris," a voice behind me says.

I roll my eyes. "Can I not spend a moment alone with my daughter, _Al_?" I ask, annoyed.

He stays silent as he walks up to Lily and me.

"How did you know I was here?"

Al shrugs. "Call it a hunch."

I gasp. "You followed me."

"Well you kissed Tobias."

"That had nothing to do with you."

He laughs. "Are you kidding? That had everything to do with me! I thought you wanted me. I thought you _loved_ me."

"Well I don't!" I say. "It was stupid of me to even date you, for the three weeks we lasted!"

Al puts his hands in his puffy parka. "Is that really what you think?" he asks.

"Yes," I say, daring him to know the truth.

He looks away. "Fine," he tells me. "Let's see what you get in return."

* * *

"And don't forget to change her and have her in bed by eight fifteen," I say.

Caleb groans. "I know, Beatrice."

"And I don't care if you have a PhD in baby studies or whatever; don't have her hooked on flashcards and Mozart."

"But it helps promote brain growth-"

"No." Then I kiss Lily's forehead and Caleb's cheek. "Thanks again," I say.

"No problem," he mutters.

I grin at Lily and walk outside. After shivering for twenty minutes, I pull out my phone.

"_Hi, you've reached Tobias. Leave a message and your name and phone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. But if you're Tris and I didn't answer my phone, I'll be sure to call you back immediately...*beep*_" his phone says.

"Hi Tobias. This is Tris. Where are you? We have a date remember? Ummm, see you soon? Bye." I say awkwardly.

But after another ten minutes, I'm still out here, shivering in Chicago's rain and wind.

Then my phone rings.

I hit the 'talk' button.

"Hey Tris," the voice says. "It's Tobias. Sorry I'm late. I'll be to your house in a few moments."

"Okay," I respond.

"Bye," he says, then hangs up.

"Bye," I mutter.

"Hey Tris," a voice in front of me says.

Then I realize that there are three people.

And one is _very_ familiar to me. "Oh my god!" I scream. "Al! Stop following me!"

He steps forward. "Or what? Are you going to put _Tobias_ out to find me?" he spits. Then he turns to his buddies.

"Peter, Drew, get her."

Peter and Drew put their arms around mine.

"Peter?" I ask. "Drew? What did I ever do to you guys?"

Peter looks at me and snarls. "Remember sophomore PE, when you beat me in the mile?"

"What could I do about it? I just wanted to pass."

"Oh you passed us, alright."

"That was _four years_ ago."

"And Drew and I haven't forgot it. Neither has Al over here. So it's time for a little payback." Peter urges me forward.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

"Somewhere no one, not even Tobias, can get to you," Al says. He slaps my face. I grit my teeth, urging myself not to give these guys the satisfaction of my pain.

"Put her in the car," Al says, as Tobias pulls into our driveway.

"Hey!" he yells, as he gets out of his car. "Put her down!"

Al rolls his eyes. "_Put_ her in the car, you idiots!"

Tobias pulls Peter away from me, as I stomp on Drew's foot with my heel. He screams in response and falls down. Al charges at me, and slaps my ribs. I wince in pain as Tobias beats him up.

Then the pain in my side becomes too unbearable. I fall to the ground as Tobias finishes beating up Al.

"Dammit!" Tobias says, rushing to my side. "I was gone for half an hour and look what's happened to you now!"

I smile softly, knowing my rescuer is here.

Tobias scoops me up, and that's the last sight I see before I pass out.

* * *

I rub my eyes and sit up in a bed that smells strangely of Tobias, with his scent of metal and soap, masculinity at its prime.

"Whoa there," Tobias says, urging me to lay back down.

I groan and put my head back down, as Tobias covers me with a blue quilt.

"Is this your apartment?" I ask, glancing around the plain room that is only covered in a few posters of bands, unlike Al's apartment, which was covered in pictures of motorcycles and babes.

He nods. "Is it what you expected it to look like?"

I shrug. "Pretty much."

"Good," he mutters to himself.

I sigh, ignoring that comment, and look out his window. "Is it morning?"

"Yeah," he says. "You spent the night here. And after what happened, I didn't want to take you to the hospital."

"Thanks," I say. "For everything. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my daughter."

"Of course," he says. "You can wear one of my shirts."

An hour later, Tobias drops me off at my house. "Thanks," I say.

"Dinner tonight?" he asks.

I hesitate.

"I promise to be here right at six," he says.

"Okay," I say after a while, smiling.

"And Tris?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't appear weak to them."

"Who's them?"

"Everyone. Now go on, and hold your head up high."

I kiss his cheek and walk out of his car. Not looking back, I can see his grin growing from here, as he pulls out of my driveway, which needless to say, is stained in one part with Al's blood.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tris POV:**

"Beatrice, what went on in our driveway last night? And why were you not back by nine? You know very well that while you are living in this house, you have a very strict curfew."

I smile sweetly at my father. "I spent the night at Tobias'."

"Tobias'?" My dad stands up from his recliner, the plain gray one that was my mother's favorite. "Young lady, you know better than that. Do think I believe that you merely 'spent the night' there?"

"Dad," I plead. "Let me explain."

He looks at me menacingly. Visions of when Tobias told me how Marcus beat him pierce my vision.

"_Dad_."

"Beatrice," he says back. Then he sits back down in his chair and sighs, staring off into space. An eternity later, he finally looks to me. "I'm sorry," he says. "You're just too much like your mother. And, while I want the best for you, you need to learn a few lessons about life. I know you still might trust Tobias, but I don't think he's good for you. How about Al?"

I glare at him.

"Or Robert? Robert was nice. He moved to Seattle to sell produce in the Pike Place Market, but his father said he should be coming back soon."

I groan. "Dad, I'm over Robert. That was just a little sixth grade crush. And Al? I'm so over him."

"Then I suggest you focus on Lily and your online courses."

"How am I supposed to do that," I ask honestly. "when no one, except Tobias trusts me?"

"Beatrice, he's not good for you. He betrayed his family, as well as you and Lily."

"Uh huh," my father says. Then he sighs. "I just want the best for you."

"And Tobias _is_ the best for me."

I know my father means well, but he's so stubborn and stony, in his own ways. Finally, his face softens. "Tell me how," he inquires. "Tell me last night went. What did you do with Tobias?"

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years, Eleven Months, and Twenty-Nine Days Ago***

_"Beatrice," my dad asked. "Are you ready?"_

_"As I'll ever be," I muttered. Then I looked at my dad and groaned. "You know," I said, hopefully persuading him. "I can drive myself."_

_"If I even let you," he said pointedly, "You would just ditch."_

_I shrugged. "True," I agreed, as I slid on my jacket and grabbed my wallet._

_"Let's go," my father said, as he held the front door open for me._

_I thanked him and walked out._

_The whole fifteen minutes that it took to get there were celebrated in utter silence. And for the first time, I was eager to get out of that car and go see Doctor Fernando._

_"Beatrice Prior?" nurse Cara asked._

_I perked my head up from the fish tank in the waiting room, seeing as my father was doing the same, although from a political magazine._

_"Doctor Cortez is ready to see you."_

_My dad stood up._

_"Dad," I whispered. "Stay here. Please."_

_He looked at me for a minute, then hesitated. "You're right," he told me, sitting down and picking up the latest _Time_ issue._

_Nurse Cara turned to me. "You coming?"_

_I nodded, and followed her, as she led me into a fairly simple room. It was filled with anything anyone could ever need in a doctor's office, including a diagram of the body's anatomy. Caleb had the same one at home. _

_"Beatrice," Doctor Fernando bellowed from his wheelchair, as he came into the room. "How good to see you!" Then he looked at my solemn expression. "What seems to be the problem? You were fine at your yearly checkup last month."_

_I looked down to my feet. "I-I'm p-pregnant," I stuttered out._

* * *

**Back to Present Day:**

"And he saved me, dad," I explain, mostly trying to convince myself that this was actually happening. "_Tobias saved me_."

"And he took you to his apartment, where he patched you up?"

I nod eagerly. "Please don't say this is too good to be true. Dad, you must understand. I love Tobias. I understand why he did what he did. People who don't, well, they just don't know the full story."

"A...alright," my father says after a long period of silence. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run a few errands."

I tell him goodbye and run up to my room, aching from the pain Al caused to my ribs last night. I rush into Caleb's room.

"Where's Lily?" I ask.

He looks up from his tablet. "Resting," he responds.

"Where?"

"Your room."

I groan and walk into my room. Sure enough, Lily is sound asleep. I collapse on my bed, eager to get some rest.

Then my phone rings.

I look at the caller ID.

I don't pick up. It goes to voice mail.

"Tris," he says. "Pick up."

I groan. "_Al_," I spit. "What do _you_ want?"

"Look Tris," he says. "I'm really sorry for last night-"

"No you're not."

"-I...I just...I don't know what got into me. I guess I was just jealous. I really like you Tris, and I really truly want you back."

I wipe tears from my face. "What's done is done, Al. Goodbye."

"Tris. Please. Just hear me out-" he starts.

But I've already hung up.

I lay back on my bed and sigh.

Lily screams and starts to cry.

Gee, this day just keeps getting better and better.

* * *

Tonight, I don't wait outside. I sit in my father's recliner and stare out the window. And sure enough, at precisely six o'clock, Tobias arrives at the front door.

"Hey," he tells me, as he holds the door, gesturing me out. "At least this part is going better than last night."

"Yeah," I mutter, getting into the shotgun seat of his car.

Tobias starts the car and turns on the radio.

_Modern Music_, the voice says. Then it starts playing 'Counting Stars.'

I sigh into my seat. "I love OneRepublic," I tell Tobias.

He nods along to the song.

_Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep_  
_Dreaming about the things that we could be_

I turn towards Tobias. "Did you ever miss me?" I ask.

_But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,_  
_Said, no more counting dollars_  
_We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars_

"Course," he responds. "I knew I'd come back for you."

I see this life like a swinging vine  
Swing my heart across the line  
And my face is flashing signs  
Seek it out and you shall find

"And how did you find me?" I ask, turning the volume down.

Tobias shrugs. He pulls over to the side of the road. "I know I say this every time I see you, Tris," he tells me. "But I'm so glad you're back." He puts his arms around my neck and the next thing I know, my lips are against his and my love for him is back.

We end up going to a fancy Italian 'hole-in-the-wall' place called Cecelia's. Tobias doesn't seem to be able to keep his hands off me, but the staff don't mind.

"Good Evening!" the manager says, his Italian accent seeming very real. "Where would zee two lovebirds like to sit?"

Tobias shrugs.

"Anywhere is fine," I say.

"You two are zee only guests here tonight, so I shall bring you to the finest table we have. No?"

"That's fine," I respond.

The manager leads us to the back of the restaurant. "Here," he says. "Enjoy zee view."

Tobias pulls a chair out for me to sit. "Thanks," I say. Then I look over the view. It's breathtaking; a view of Chicago's city night glow.

"That certainly is amazing," Tobias says. But he seems nervous, scratching the back of his neck and biting the inside of his lip.

"Are you okay?" I ask. Then in a hunched tone, I lean towards him. "Am I making you nervous?"

"N-n-no," he stutters. Then he sighs and looks down at the plate of breadsticks a waiter set out for us. "It's just a stupid little thing."

"Tell me."

"You'll laugh."

"I promise not to."

He sighs and plays with a breadstick. "This'll sound cliché, but..."

"But what?"

"I'm afraid of heights." When he glances up to me, I smile.

"So?" I ask. "I'm afraid of intimacy. That's just as embarrassing. If not, more."

He gasps. "Were you okay with..." Then Tobias puts his head in his hands. "Tris, I'm sorry about that night."

"No. It's not your fault. And it's fine."

"Tris. I could have hurt you. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me." He stands up. "Maybe it bad of me to come back to Chicago."

I grab his wrist. "No. We missed each other. Stay. Please?"

He smiles slightly. "Alright."

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years, Six Months, and Twelve Days Ago***

_We were at Christina's party, having the time of our lives. Her parents were out of town on a business trip, and lucky for us, they trusted her enough with this palace. It, being as Christina loved to decorate and host, was_ the_ place to be seen._

_"Hey," Al said, as he stumbled up to me._

_I groaned._

_"Want to grind to the music?" he asked._

_I rolled my eyes. "Al, I'm with Tobias. Don't you get that?"_

_He blushed and looked down. "I do...it's just...if he ever breaks your heart, I'm available, okay?"_

_I smiled. "Al, you're a good friend. But right now, let me be with Tobias."_

_He blushed ever harder. "You like him a lot, don't you?"_

_"Yes I do," I said defensibly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to freshen my Cola."_

_Now, I never liked Cola, but Al didn't need to know that. Maybe he was a bit helpless. And maybe, just maybe, Al would have been my first choice if I didn't have Tobias. I didn't know much about dating, but I knew Tobias would make me happy._

_"Tris," a voice whispered in my ear._

_I whipped my head around. "Tobias," I said, as a grin played at my lips. "You scared me."_

_He caressed my cheek. "Good."_

_I laughed and kissed his cheek. "I thought you were having fun with your friends."_

_"I am your friend."_

_"I thought we were more than friends." As soon as the words escaped my lips, I regretted them, blushing._

_But Tobias just laughed. "Come on," he said._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"You'll see," he replied, taking my hand. He led me out the door and into Christina's backyard. Tobias started climbing her big Magnolia tree and I followed, scaling branch after branch._

_"Look at the view," he said, as he helped me onto the roof._

_"It's amazing," I breathed._

_Tobias' voice shallow, he kissed me._

_"We can climb down if you want," I said, noticing his uneven breaths and shaky hands that traveled up my body._

_"No," he said stiffly. "We didn't climb up all this way for nothing."_

_"Alright," I responded. "Let's enjoy the view."_

_Tobias looked at me. "Let's."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Back To Present Day: Tobias POV:**

After Dropping Tris off, I decide to hit Starbucks for a late-night cup of coffee.

"Grande Americano," I tell the guy at the register.

He nods and punches it in. "That'll be $4.27," he says.

I hand him a five dollar bill. "Al?" I ask.

He looks up to me. "I-I think y-you have th-the wrong p-person," he stutters.

I raise my eyebrows.

Al hands me back two quarters, two dimes, and three pennies. I dismiss the change with an addition to the 'tip' jar.

"Whoa Al!" a voice says, as I wait for my coffee. I look up to Lauren, a girl I went to high school with. "Albert!" she scolds. "Your shift isn't over for another fourty-five minutes!"

Al doesn't say anything. He just rips off his apron and runs out the back door.

"Al!" Lauren calls. "This is your last chance before you're fired!"

But Al is already gone.

Lauren sighs.

"Rough night?" I ask.

She smirks. "Is it ever." Then she gasps. "You look familiar."

I hold out my hand. "Tobias Eaton."

"Lauren-"

"I know.

"It's been what? Four years?"

I nod.

Lauren hands me my coffee. "We've got to catch up sometime."

"Agreed," I say, thinking of Tris. I take my coffee and walk out in silence. _At least tonight went well with Tris_, I think, as I start up my car. I have a pretty cheap car, which is ironic considering that my father has more than a fair amount of life's earnings. But when I went of to college, the best, as well as cheapest, car I could get was a 2004 silver Toyota Camry, which, to say the least, is in decent shape.

I just can't stop thinking about Tris, until I'm stopped by a red light on the way home to my apartment. A homeless woman stands on the corner, her frizzy black hair barely contained by the ponytail it's in. I roll down my window and hold out another five dollar bill. She runs to take it, but as she runs up to me, I gasp.

"Mom?" I ask.

"T-Tobias?" she asks.

I nod.

"My boy," she whispers.

"Is this how you've been living? Ever since Marcus kicked you out?"

She nods.

"Come to my apartment."

She shakes her head. "I have a home now."

"With who?"

She grins. "My new family. If you let me, I'll show you them."

I hesitate.

"My boy," my mother urges. "It's been so long."

"Alright," I say finally.

My mother smiles. "Come with me."

The stop light turns green.

"If you want to come with me," I tell her. "It's now or never."

My mother grins, tucking a piece of curly black hair behind her head, and runs across the front of the car. She hops into shotgun, just as cars are honking at me to step on it.

I put some gas on it, and when it's safe, I turn to my mother. "Where are we going? The Homeless Shelter?"

My mother gapes at me. "You know me, _Tobias_," she says. "Would I go there if I had the choice, or would I live on my own?"

"There's a lot I don't know about you," I say. "I'm not sure."

"Well I wouldn't," she says, answering herself for me. "Turn right here."

"Here?"

"Yes, here," my mother answers. "My god, I've missed you Tobias."

"If I recall correctly, you wanted me to move out with you."

"Well why didn't you come?" She leans into my ear. "It would have stopped your father from beating you. It stopped him from beating me."

"Living on the streets is no way to live. Haven't you heard? Marcus is running for mayor and he thinks 'it would not look good to see little Tobias on the streets'."

My mother sighs next to me. "The offer's still open. Here we are."

"Wow," I say.

My mother smiles proudly and unbuckles her seat belt. "Come on."

I follow her into a run-down building. At least that's what it looks like. On the outside, it looks like an abandoned community center, but the inside is filled with people happily running around and screaming.

"What is this?" I mutter. "A cult?"

My mother looks at me disapprovingly. "This is my home."

A lady walks up to my mother. "The Northwood Food Bank just called. They're bringing us soap and canned food tomorrow?"

"What kinds of food?" my mother asks.

The lady shrugs, "Beans, soup, vegetables, I suppose."

My mother nods approvingly. "Theresa, I'd like you to meet my son, Tobias."

"Nice to meet you, _Tobias_," Theresa says, smiling.

"Likewise," I say back.

"Well, Tobias," my mother says when Theresa's gone. "Like what you see?"

I shrug.

"Stay here," she says. "Just for one night."

I sigh.

My mother looks at me desperately.

"Oh...kay," I finally say.

She grins and sits down.

I sit down next to her.

"Tell me what you've been up to the past thirteen years," she says, ripping off the lid of a can of peas.

I shrug. "High school, college."

"Have you stayed in the area?"

I shake my head. "I went to Boston for the past four years."

"And what did you study?" she asks, shoveling a mouthful of peas into her mouth. She offers me the can and I shake my head.

"Sports medicine," I say.

"Ah," she says. "That's interesting."

It's quiet for a minute. Then my mother says, "I saw the Prior girl walking around town one day with a little girl. She big into babysitting?"

I shake my head.

My mother's eyes grow wide.

"I-I should go," I stay, standing up.

My mother grabs my wrist. "Stay," she whispers. "Please."

I sigh. "Alright. But just tonight."

My mother grins, and calls out, "Theresa! Prepare a cot for Tobias!" Then she turns to the rest of the people. "My son has returned!"

* * *

**Tris POV:**

I wake up the next morning grinning. Last night, Tobias kissed me on my doorstep, just like he did in high school. I fantasize this moment for a while, before Lily starts to whine.

"Ready to get up?" I ask.

She nods. "Up."

I lift her up and take her downstairs. My father takes her from me, tickling her.

"Coffee's been brewed," he says.

"Thanks," I respond, pouring myself a cup. I lean against the counter, sipping and blowing on the steaming coffee. Then I grab the newspaper and find the local section.

I take another sip of coffee, then spit it out.

On the front page is Al.

"Beatrice," my father says stiffly. "Clean that mess up please."

I take the dishrag and wipe up the coffee, then go back to reading the paper.

_Local Chicago Student Plunges Himself Deep into Lake Michiga_n, the title reads.

_Albert Langston, a former student of Chicago Preparatory school and local Starbucks barista was found just this morning at the bottom of lake Michigan._

_'I found a car sinking into the lake,' local witness, Shelby Wellington, said. 'And I ran to get help. When the police finally got it out, there was a body in it.'_

_The body was later discovered to be Langston. But according to friends and family, Langston had no enemies._

_'Albert was a very nice kid,' his mother, Robyn Langston, recalled. 'He was always polite to others and followed every rule and showed no signs of every hurting anyone.'_

_For anyone interested, Albert Langston's funeral will be next Saturday._

_Turn to page E5 for more on this. _

I stop reading. Al hurt me.

"Dad, can you watch Lily?" I ask. "Just for a few hours? Please?"

He sighs, then looks at the squirmy baby in his arms. "I suppose I _could_ go in late to work," he says.

"Thanks!" I scream.

Then I run upstairs and put on jeans and grab my purse.

I run out the door and get into my car.

When I get to Tori's tattoo parlor, I run in.

"Tris!" she says. "You weren't supposed to come to work today." Then she sees the tears welling up in my eyes. "What's the matter?"

I hold up the paper that she keeps in here. "Did you hear? Al committed suicide. All because of me."

"Tris, whatever happened, I'm sure it's not your fault."

"It is!" I exclaim, sitting down in the nearest chair.

Tori goes behind the 'Employees Only' door and I follow.

"There, there," she says, stroking my hair. "This will help," she adds, handing me a cup of tea.

I sip it. _Mmmm, peppermint._ "Will this make it better?"

She shakes her head. "But not thinking about Al will."

"How am I not supposed to think about him?" I ask. "When his death haunts me because I threatened him into doing it?"

* * *

**A/N Are the flashbacks too confusing?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tobias POV:**

Evelyn, who insists I call her 'mother', hands me a can of scrambled eggs. I scoop some into my mouth and let my eyes wander around the room. A young boy's gaze catches mine and he waves me over. I shrug and walk over.

"Do you know how to play BS?" he asks.

I nod. Then my phone rings. I pick it up. "Hello?"

"Tobias," the frantic voice says, "Did you hear about Al?"

"Tris?" I ask, searching the old hall for a newspaper.

"Yes," she says quietly. "Look in the local section."

I pick it up. "_Local Chicago Student Plunges Himself Deep into Lake Michigan_," I say. Then I look at the picture of the dead body next to the article. I gasp. "It's-"

"Al," Tris says. She sniffles a bit. "What have I done Tobias?"

"I'm sure it was nothing you did Tris," I say.

But Tris ignores me. "Tobias, I told him he was basically a waste of my time."

"Was he?" I ask, not thinking past anything.

Tris sniffles. "I don't know. You probably don't want me to say no. You want me to say yes, he was a waste of my time and you are the only one that means anything to me."

"Tris," I say, thinking now. "I'm sure you loved Al at one point. I'm sure you loved how he loved you for who you are and helped you when I skipped town. But I think we both know those days are over. Yes, I hate Al for attacking you but I like the fact that he helped you. I'm thankful, even."

"Thanks Tobias," she says. "That means a lot to me."

"As you mean a lot to me," I say. Then I look back to the newspaper. "Are you going to go to his funeral?"

I sense Tris shrugging. "I probably should," she says. "I feel as if I need to pay one last respect to him, but I don't know how to."

"Tris," I say. "I'm sure Al would honoured if you dated who you want to. And that can be anyone you want."

"But he wanted me for himself," she says.

"Yes," I say. "But that's because he felt he was best for you. And even if that wasn't true, he wanted the best for you."

Tris sighs. "I love you," she whispers.

"I think I might still be in love with you as well," I whisper back.

"Are you sure?" she teases. "Or should I get a pen and paper for you to write down the 'pros' and 'cons' of loving me?"

I laugh. "I _am_ in love with you."

"We need to talk," she says. "Where are you?"

"With my mother," I respond.

Tris gasps. "I thought she was-"

"Dead," I say. "That's what I thought too. But apparently not."

"Oh," Tris squeaks. "See you later then."

* * *

**Tris POV:**

It's been a rough day. Tori told me to get off my butt at the tattoo parlor and go talk to someone else.

And the first person I thought of was Tobias.

"I have to go," he says, a giggling child's voice in the background.

"Bye?" I say, to myself as Tobias hangs up on me. I sit down in the chair behind me and read my texts, one after another:

_omg Tris,_ Christina's says, _did u hear about al? so sad and unexpected :'(...and I heard he was just about to ask you out again too_

_what a pansycake_, Uriah texts, _I bet he just did it because he was jealous of 4_

_Beatrice-did you hear about Albert?_ Susan says. _It's so sad. Are you going to his funeral? I am. I feel as if it will take one less burden off me. Albert was such a nice boy._

I roll up into a ball and cry, shedding the tears of a terrible person. Then Lily toddles up to me.

"Mama," she says, crawling into my lap. Then the room is filled with the pungent scent of poop that I know to well and Lily starts to cry.

Later that day, I go out for coffee. Without realizing it, I go to the Starbucks that Al worked at. I grab my Americano and sit down.

Then a dark shadow sits next to me. I briefly look up and see Al.

I open my mouth to cry out, but nothing comes out.

"Tris," the voice says soothingly. "Are you all right?"

I blink rapidly and the figure turns into Tobias.

"Fine," I say.

"Want to ditch this place?" Tobias asks.

"Hell yes," I whisper.

Tobias stands up, and, taking my hand, pulls me up with him.

"Where are we going?" I ask, once we're in his car.

"Where's Lily?" he asks, ignoring my question.

"With my dad," I say.

Tobias nods. "We're going to the Hancock building, to answer your question."

"I thought you were afraid of heights," I respond bluntly.

Tobias laughs briefly. "Good memory. But I just know a gentleman who works there and understands that I sometimes need a quiet place to think."

"And who is this gentleman?" I ask.

"Harrison Matherson," Tobias answers. "You know him?"

I nod.

When we get to the Hancock building, Tobias parks his car.

"Come on," he says.

I follow after him. We take the stairs up to the twenty-first floor. Tobias takes a deep breath and steps into Harrison's office.

I touch his shoulder lightly. "We can go," I whisper.

Tobias shakes his head. "Acrophobia is a stupid fear that I need to get rid of. Come on."

I sigh. "If you insist."

Tobias walks up to Harrison, whose eyes light up. "Beatrice! Tobias!" he says. "How can I help you?"

"I was wondering if one of your rooms was available so Tris and I can talk?" Tobias says, phrasing it like a question.

"Of course!" Harrison says. Then he looks at me. "How's the baby?"

I smile. "Great!"

Harrison takes out a key and opens a mahogany door. "This room is free for the rest of the afternoon," Harrison tells us. "But do be out by six."

"Of course," Tobias answers. "Thank you."

Harrison grins and walks out.

"There's something I should say," I whisper, sitting down.

"What?" Tobias asks.

"Al." I swallow. "He...he hit me."

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years Ago***

_We were at a graduation party, the best one by far. Unsurprisingly, Uriah had hosted it. There was beer, candy, snacks, and shots of tequila galore, but Tobias was not there. He had left the week before._

_"Come on guys!" Christina slurred. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"_

_We all shrugged and gathered around._

_Al touched my arm. "You want something Tris? A beer?"_

_I shook my head and wrapped my hands around my stomach._

_"Christina!" Uriah shouted. "Truth or dare?"_

_Christina smiled. "Truth."_

_"What's the biggest secret you're holding?" Uriah asked._

_Christina looked at me nervously, my cheeks growing redder by the second._

_"Come on!" Uriah said. "Tell us, tell us! Tell us, tell us!" He started chanting, and after a few seconds, the rest of the people in the room started to chant._

_Christina looked at me. I looked down, unable to meet her gaze._

_"Tris!" she whispered to me over the shouting._

_I looked up at her. "Tell them," I said. "It's only right they know now."_

_Christina looked at Uriah. "Tris is pregnant," she said._

_Uriah stopped chanting. "What?" he said._

_Then the rest of the room quieted._

_Uriah looked at me._

_I nodded._

_"You really are pregnant?" he asked._

_Al walked in, a beer keg in his hand. "What?" he asked, spilling the beer all over his shirt._

_I walked out of the room._

_"Tris!" Al called after me. "Wait!"_

_I opened Uriah's front door and walked outside. When I got to the sidewalk, I looked up to the stars, tears forming in my eyes._

_Al sat down next to me. "Will you go out with me?" he blurted._

_"Al-" I started to say._

_But he continued. "I'll love the baby," he said. "I'll care for it, unlike Four. Tris, please."_

_I sighed and wiped tears from my cheeks. "Alright," I said hesitantly._

_He kissed my cheek and stood up abruptly. "See you next week," he said, deciding our first date for us._

_The next Friday, I was late to our date. The black pants I had didn't fit, and since I was early, I changed into a new set._

_Then, a car honked. I grabbed my purse and ran downstairs._

_"Bye Dad, Caleb!" I shouted, swinging the door open and running out of the house._

_"Why are you late?" Al asked. "We might as well not go."_

_I sighed. "I'm sorry. I was changing."_

_"Well you look fine," Al grumbled. When he finally started the car, he did so in silence._

_"Where are we going?" I asked. "Mario's is in the other direction."_

_"We're not going to Mario's?" Al said._

_"What do you mean?" I asked frivolously._

_Al pulled into his driveway. He opened the door for me and pushed me into his house. He dragged me up the stairs and when we got to his room, he locked the door. He unbuckled his belt and told me to turn around._

_"Why?" I asked, afraid of his answer._

_He didn't answer; Al only told me to take off my shirt. I did so, and Al looked at me greedily. Then he flinched his arm back and hit me with his belt._

_"Al!" I screamed after five hits. "Stop it!"_

_He didn't stop._

_"Al," I begged. "You'll hurt my baby!"_

_He still didn't stop._

_I turned around. Al hit my stomach once before I screamed, "I'm breaking up with you!"_

_Al's arm backed down. He looked at me pitifully for a minute before unlocking his door. He sat on his bed and his head in his hands._

_I put my shirt back on and walked out of his room. I could only wonder if one hit could end my baby's life._

* * *

**Back to Present Day:**

"What?" Tobias repeats, anger flooding his vision now. He clenches his fists together.

"Only once," I say. "He took out his belt and beat me because I was late for our only date."

Tobias curses under his breath.

"And then," I continue. "I broke up with him. He didn't seem angry with me. He seemed disappointed in himself. Disappointed for letting this happen."

Tobias stays silent.

"Tobias," I say. "Al's gone now." I sniffle. "And there's nothing I can do about it."

Tobias walks back to me and hugs me tight to his chest. When he lets go, he folds his hands behind his back, turning his back to me and staring out to the view of Chicago. "What else did he do?" he asks me, his back still to me.

I hug me feet up to my chest and shrug. "Desire me."

"Did he...?" Tobias inquires, his head slowly turning towards me. Within a second, he's looking right at me.

I shake my head. "Lily's my one and only."

Tobias sighs. A small smile briefly dances across the corner of his mouth before disappearing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Tris POV:**

We drive home in silence.

Suddenly. Tobias turns to me. "Would you consider moving in with me and bringing Lily?" he asks.

I sulk into my seat. How do I say this without hurting him? Then, I blurt out, "You ask me this _every single night_. You got back just over a week ago for goodness sakes. Give me some time to recall that I have my boyfriend and father of my daughter back."

Tobias chuckles. He keeps on hand on the steering wheel and leans the other on the arm rest so he's facing halfway between me and the road. "God I love you," he mutters.

I laugh. "Would you rather I call you my 'baby daddy'?"

Tobias shakes his head. Then he sighs. The car goes quiet. "At least consider it, alright?" he says. "I feel like I keep repeating myself when I ask, but I really miss you. And I know I left for two years and shouldn't have...but I needed to get away."

"Tobias," I whisper. "I understand. But I think the part you're forgetting is that while you were away hiding in Boston, I was raising our child."

Tobias opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it.

"This is my stop," I say.

"Tris," he starts.

I shush him. "Tobias, when the time is right, we'll go back to the way things were before." I kiss his cheek and turn around, opening the car door and walking out.

When I get home, I crash on my bed. Then my cellphone rings.

"Hello...?" I ask cautiously.

"Tris!" the voice answers. "It's Zeke! Your fourth 'bestie! Listen, I need your help. I'm throwing-"

"Hey!" another voice buts in. "I am too, idiot!"

"Uriah!" Zeke calls. "Get away from the phone, dammit!" There's a but of arguing between the two before Zeke speaks again. "Okay, so _Uriah and I_ are throwing Four a little 'welcome back' partay and we need your help."

"Me?" I say with a laugh. "You need me? When's the last time you've seen me at a party?"

"Just distract him," Zeke says. "Friday night. Take Foursy out for a little romantic stroll in the park. Then at six come to our place. Say you have to drop a book off at my place or something."

"You don't read, remember?" I ask.

"It bores the soul," Zeke agrees. Then he sighs through the phone. "Then say you have one of Lily's things here."

I laugh. "You know I don't leave you alone with my child and since you and Four are good friends, I'm guessing he doesn't trust you either."

Zeke sighs again, stressed. "Then just think of something. Bye."

* * *

Friday night comes quickly. Too quickly, I think, since Al's funeral is a day after the party.

And boy, am I not prepared.

"So what's the occasion?" Tobias asks.

I smile. "You don't want to take a walk with me?"

Tobias bites his lip to hide his grin. "Of course I'll walk with you. You just never seem excited is all."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Umm...we just need to talk." I say, giving us time to walk around the trail once more.

"About moving in with me," Tobias starts.

"Listen," I say. "We've talked about this. When the time is ready, I'll move in with you. I'm not saying no...I'm just not saying yes for now either, okay?"

Tobias nods. "I won't push you. And I totally understand that you're not ready. But when you do say yes-if you do-you know where I am."

I kiss his cheek. "Thanks." Then I look at my phone. "My gosh! It's almost six already! We better get back!" As we walk back to Tobias' car, he kisses me.

"Thanks for understanding," he murmurs. Then he breaks apart from the kiss and starts his car up.

"Stop," I say, at the red light.

"What?"

"Can we go to Zeke's first? He said he was available if I wanted to pick up one of Lily's onesies that I left there tonight." Tobias looks at me strangely. "From when he watched her three weeks ago," I mutter quietly.

After a while, Tobias nods and puts his blinker on.

I suck in my breath as Tobias looks at me curiously. His eyes are squinted and I can tell he doesn't believe me. "You let Zeke watch our kid on his own?"

I bite my cheek. "Marlene was there as well," I say. "You know how much she enjoys Lily." Then I laugh to myself and mutter, "But you really _don't_ know."

Tobias sighs. "Alright." he pulls into Zeke and Uriah's driveway. "Why are all these cars here?"

I shrug. "Uriah must be having a football party. Plus, they probably suspected we were out on a date so we weren't invited." _But we really were_, I think to myself.

Tobias unbuckles his seat belt, then turns to me. "Are you sure Caleb is okay with watching Lily? We should probably just make this a quick visit. In fact, maybe you should just run in and get Lily's onesie. Don't want to intrude on their little football party, now do we?"

His tone is mocking and I glare at him. "Caleb loves watching Lily. And come in with me. You haven't seen Zeke and Uriah much since you got back, have you?"

He shakes his head and opens his door. Sighing, he waits for me.

I run ahead of Tobias. "Just let me make sure we're not intruding on anything."

Tobias rakes a hand through his hair and sighs. Shrugging, he says, "Whatever."

I knock on the door: once, then twice, then three times, then six times. The partying grows quiet and Zeke opens the door, a beer in his hand. "I've been waiting for you! What took you so long?"

I look back at Tobias and laugh nervously. "We're just here to pick up a onesie, stupid."

Zeke looks at Tobias, who has his hands shoved in his pockets and is staring at the flowers Marlene planted for Uriah. "Come in," he says. Then he turns to Tobias. "Four, bro!" Zeke shouts. He hugs Tobias awkwardly and takes another sip of his beer. "Come on in!"

As I walk in the door, Christina pulls me aside. "Hide with me," she whispers. Then her tone softens. "Like the decorations? I did 'em myself."

I force a slight grin. "They're pretty spectacular." As I take a good look at the decorations, I see a giant painted banner, with the words 'Welcome Back Four.' Confetti is sprinkled on tables, and ribbon and Christmas lights decorate the ceiling. Blue balloons are also scattered around the ceiling.

Then Tobias walks in. "What is this?" he asks.

Shauna gapes. "Don't you love it?" her smile falters. "Or at least like it?"

Tobias shrugs.

Christina rolls her eyes. "I know you hate surprises, but let's get the party started." She turns on Zeke's stereo and everyone starts dancing as Tobias approaches me.

"Did you know about this?" he asks.

I cast my gaze down.

"Tris."

I look up into his deep blue eyes. "Yes," I murmur sheepishly.

Tobias sighs. "Tris..."

"Look," I say. "I didn't necessarily want to do this either. Sure, it's nice to see you in a good mood for once in two years, but you know what the last party I went to was?"

Tobias doesn't answer.

And he doesn't have to. "It was the one that Al asked me out at. And after he beat me, I never went to a party again. It took me more courage than I'm willing to admit to take us here, even if you drove us."

"Tris," Tobias says. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," I butt in on him. "It was worth it to see your face when you walked in. I can see you missed these people."

"You," Tobias insists. "I missed you the most."

"Then let's celebrate."

* * *

Zeke stumbles up to me three hours later. "What have I done?" he moans. He bangs his head against his hand three times, then slides into the seat next to me.

I smile. "Take two Advils."

He nods and stomps off.

Then Christina skips up to me. "You're not any fun!" she slurs.

"Christina," I say. "Go find Will. I'm really not in the mood."

She rolls her eyes and hoists my arm up. "Come on gurrrl, let's play a game!"

"A game," I repeat. "What kind of game?"

Christina giggles. "A drinking game," she slurs. "What other kind of game, silly?"

I shrug.

She calls everyone else over and sits down in Will's lap. "Never have I..." she starts. Then her eyes light up. "...Have I ever had sex!"

Tobias looks at me.

"Well!" Christina says. "I believe you all should be taking your shots!"

I stand up. "I-I think I'll just be going now," I say wearily.

Christina throws a hand over her mouth and gasps. "Tris!" she exclaims, "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot! I'm-"

"Completely drunk," I say. Then I turn to Tobias. "Will you give me a ride home?"

He nods. "Zeke, Uriah, thanks. Have a...fun...night everyone."

He takes my hand and we walk out.

"She didn't mean it, you know," Tobias whispers.

I nod. "I know."

"But she still had no right to say it."

I sigh, and brush a hand through my hair. "I still feel bad."

"Embarrassed bad, or guilty bad?"

"Guilty bad," I say. "I shouldn't have been so hard on Christina."

"Tris," Tobias whispers. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and stops it. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

"What do you mean?"

"When I left you, I felt...really...what's the word? Bad."

* * *

**A/N Thanks, guys and gals, for reviewing and following and favoriting and reading this story! I can't thank you enough, but if you like this story, be sure to check out one of my others that I recently just finished: To Have and To Hold.**

**Thanks again!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N **

**Guest who left me a flame: I spent a lot of time writing this story, and if you don't like it, don't read it and please don't give me a nasty comment. Writing, though fun, takes a lot of work and I would appreciate if you did not just tell me how bad the characters and plot-line of the story is. However, I hope this chapter will explain why Tris is treated as a 'baby.'**

**Everyone else: please don't do that, although constructive criticism-but not flames-is welcome. **

* * *

**Tris POV:**

I don't answer my phone.

I know it's her, and I know it's rude of me to ignore my best friend, and I know that she drunk and didn't mean it and I don't want to be mad at her and her mad at me, but I just can't bring myself to answer the damn phone.

Because every time someone brings up the S-E-X word, I feel guilty for making everyone grow up around me much faster than they should because of Lily.

But still, I feel guilty._ This time_, I think to myself,_ I'll pick up the phone_.

But every time I just ignore it. And every time, Christina leaves a new voice message, claiming that she was sorry for what happened but now she needs me to tell her which shoes will look best with her top for her date with Will that is tomorrow night, oh, and by the way, which eye shadow looks best.

And each time I roll my eyes.

Then, I call her.

"TRIS! FINALLY!" Christina shouts.

I take the phone away from my ear as I feed Lily blueberries and Cheerios.

Then Christina stops talking.

"Hello?" I say.

She laughs. "Good one, Tris. But I'm still here."

Lily kicks her legs and I feed her more blueberries. "Chrisa!" she screams, using her nickname for Christina.

I laugh. "Hey, can you come over? I think Lily wants you here."

Christina hesitates. "But that means I'm getting ready for my date at your house. See you in twenty."

Lily's eyes light up as I put the phone down. "Chrisa?"

I nod eagerly. "Thank god I forgive her or you would be pretty bummed out."

Lily starts to cry for no apparent reason and continues to until the doorbell rings.

I open it, but Christina's not here yet.

It's Tobias.

"Hi," he whispers, pecking my lips. "I've been meaning to talk to you."

"Uh, sure?" I say, as I close the door.

Lily wobbles to Tobias as I climb up the stairs. "Come on," I say, sighing. "For goodness sakes," I mutter, as I pick up Lily. "Come upstairs," I say, as Tobias kicks off his shoes and takes off his jacket.

"We need to talk," I say, as I lead him and Lily into my room and slam the door.

I put Lily down in her crib and run a hand through my hair. "We can't be together."

Tobias' face crumbles. "But...why?"

"It's not that I don't want to," I say. "It's just that..." I sigh. "Your dad. And my dad. They're great friends, but don't really want us together."

Tobias groans. "What happened to you?" he whispers, while running a hand around my neck, touching my raven tattoos. "You used to be so brave and daring, yet gentle and caring."

I cross my arms, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I can be brave. And I can be caring. Tobias, we have a child now."

"And it's best for Lily's parents to stick together."

"Just give me some time, please?" I ask. "I was really happy when you came back...but now I'm getting used to the reality."

"Of what?" Tobias asks. He takes his hand away from my neck and starts to play with my hair.

I shove his hand away. "That you left me for two years. The first two years of our daughter's life." I laugh nervously, "You weren't even there for Lily's birth."

"I was scared," Tobias insists.

"And now I'm scared that you'll leave me again," I say. "Go, please."

He gapes. "Are you dumping me?"

I shake my head. "Just give me some time. I'm sure we're meant for each other, but every relationship has its faults."

* * *

After Tobias leaves, Lily starts to cry again. I brush her dirty blonde hair and put a clip in it as Christina rushes into my room. She picks up Lily and starts to rock her.

"Tris," she says. "Why did Four call me asking what he did wrong to you?"

I shrug.

"_Tris_."

I sigh. "I'm just getting used to the fact that because he left for the first two years of our daughter's life, he could leave again."

"So you dumped him?"

I shrug. "I didn't necessarily dump him. I just think we need some time off from each other. You know, if we're really meant to be together, then we'll get back together sometime in the future."

"'We'll get back together'?" Christina asks. She laughs and brushes a hand through her hair. "Tris, you dumped him. How's that for reality?"

I shrug again. "I love him, it's just...I don't know. He's my dream guy but I don't want Lily to get to attached to him if he's just gonna run off again."

Christina groans and sits down on my bed. Lily plays with her fingers as Christina continues to talk. "Tris," she says. "Love is all about taking chances. Do you think I knew Will and I would be together this long? No; I thought we would break up when he went to University of Washington. But because long distance relationships don't work out, he was willing to transfer his classes to online courses. _For me_."

I look down at the floor.

"You know what this means, right?" Christina asks.

I shake my head.

"You've got to call him," she insists.

"So I've got to get him back before he goes running off to some hooker because I broke up with him?"

Christina laughs. "Boy, you are clueless."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Tris," Christina says. "Four called me asking if I knew what he did wrong. He didn't want you to break up with him. He wants you back. He cares about you and Lily." She sighs. "You don't have to call him now. Give it a day, maybe tomorrow. If you wait too soon, he'll just think you're taking a joke too far or are paranoid. For now, let's put on a movie and paint our toenails."

She pulls out _The Little Mermaid_ and hands it to Lily, who points to Flounder and giggles cutely.

I wish I was still that cute.

Having a baby makes you grow up too fast, especially if you were just a teenager when you had a child.

* * *

***Flashback to Two Years Ago***

_I ran out of Al's house and to mine in silence. When I got to the front door, my dad was waiting._

_His arms were crossed, his eyes narrowed at me. "Why are you here so early? What happened to your date with Albert?" he asked._

_"Dad," I said. "I'm eighteen, not twelve. You don't have to treat me like this."_

_He moved out of the doorway. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"_

_I rubbed a forming tear out of my eye. "Al and I aren't meant for each other. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel sick."_

_I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom just in time for me to puke into the toilet. I flushed it down and brushed my teeth, slumping up against the wall and crying._

_"Tobias," I whispered that night. "Where are you when I need you?"_

_Then the door pushed open._

_"Beatrice, was that you throwing up?"_

_I gulped._

_"Beatrice." My dad held the back of his hand up to my forehead. "You don't feel sick. Are you alright?"_

_I sighed. "Dad, remember when I went to the doctor's office and Doctor Fernando didn't know what was wrong with me? And you know how Tobias suddenly disappeared? Well, I'm...p-pregnant."_

_My father turned his back to me. "Beatrice," he whispered. "You're only eighteen."_

_"I know."_

_"Is the baby Tobias'?"_

_I nodded._

_"That's why he left," my dad continued. He sighed, and cradled my cheek. "Beatrice, get some rest."_

_I sighed and nervously laughed. "Dad, I'm fine. Besides, I'm eighteen."_

_"Yeah," he replied. "And pregnant. Get some rest. Until you start making better choices and act like an adult, I won't treat you as an adult."_

* * *

***Back to Present Day***

I debated picking up the phone.

And I ended up calling him.

But no matter how many times I called him on my crappy flip phone, he wouldn't pick up.

"Tobias," I whisper in a sing-songy voice. "Pick up the damn phone already."

"Hi," his voice mail replies, as I curse under my breath. "You've reached Four's mobile phone. I'm not available so leave a message and your name and phone number and I'll get back to you."

"Tobias," I whisper into it, through a shaky breath of tears. "I don't know what came over me today. I was just...I don't know. The last time I was in a relationship, Al beat me. And before that, you left me. I don't know what came over me and why I was so bitter today. Call me back?"

I end the call, my tears still coming. Then my eyes go big and just as blurry as I realize I had forgotten what today was.

Al's funeral.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Hey everyone! Thanks for all the comments and support! **

**And just so you know, I recently read a book called How To Love (by Katie Contugno) which has a similar plot line, but because there is no fanfiction archive on that, I decided to base the story on my own ideas, combined with Divergent, and the original How To Love. So if you like this fanfiction and haven't read the original How To Love, make sure to check that book out! **

* * *

**Tris POV:**

I nearly fall off the couch. "Christina!" I shout. "Remember what today is?"

She comes running in. "Did Four answer his phone?"

I shake my head. "I left a voice mail. Don't we have somewhere to be right now?"

Christina's eyes grow wide. "I totally forgot about that! Now I feel like a terrible person!" She looks to her phone clock. "Eleven twenty-three. You don't think it's too late to go now, do you?"

I shake my head. "I'm sure it's fine."

"You sure?"

I sigh. "It's better than not going. Do you need to borrow a dress?"

Christina laughs. "Girl, nothing of yours would fit me. Besides, I brought a little black dress that I was going to ask your opinion on if I should wear it on my date or not."

"Alright," I say. "Meet you downstairs in twenty minutes."

Christina nods and goes into the bathroom, as I walk into my closet and put my hands on my hips. Then I find a dress. It's a little black one, with cut out prints around the rib cage. I put it on and put a white cardigan around it as Lily toddles into my bedroom.

"Mama," she says.

I pick her up and pick out some earrings out of my jewelry box. Lily points to a silver locket. As I pick it up, I remember that Al gave it to me.

I wipe away tears, remembering that I still have to put my makeup on. As I dust on blush, Christina knocks on my door.

"It's noon," she says, her voice muffled by the door and carpet. "The service is in thirty minutes."

I nod and put a black shirt on Lily. "Coming," I yell back, as I put a jacket on Lily and zip it up.

Christina laughs, as Lily and I step out of the door. "For once," she comments. "You took longer than me." Then she smiles sadly. "You pack tissues?"

I nod. "Let's go."

* * *

As we step into the dead-silent church, Lily starts to cry.

"I think Lily and I are going to be in the quiet room," I say.

Christina looks at me nervously. "Please don't leave me."

I pat her shoulder. "I'm sure Will is in there. Otherwise, you could just stay with Lily and me."

Christina ponders this. "I...I think I'll just find a spot in the pews up there," she says, walking towards them. "I'll see you after mass."

I sigh and adjust Lily on my hip.

During the service, I can't take it. I feel too guilty about Al, even though part of me wants to just turn my back to this and stay a hard, cold rock.

As I'm crying, the door to the quiet room clicks open and footsteps and a dark, tall shadow approach me.

"Hey," he says. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer, pressing his lips to my temple. "It's okay to cry," he reassures me. "Even in front of Lily. Everyone cries sometime." He laughs. "I'm sure Lily knows that."

I put Lily down and wrap my arms around him. "Tobias, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what overcame me earlier."

"I got your message," he responds. "Even Lily knows that everyone makes mistakes."

He sees that I'm still pouting and kisses my cheek. "_I_ know that everyone makes mistakes. Even Al."

I look away. "How can everyone call him brave, and just forgive him because he's dead? I had to get a restraining order on him, Tobias, before he finally stopped following me."

Tobias shrugs.

By the end of mass, Tobias still has his hand in mine.

"So are we back together?" he asks, on the way to the cemetery. Although Christina is hitching a ride with Will, I'm sure she'll want to hear all about this later.

"My answer is still the same," I say. "Give me some time. Tobias, I love you and all, but what if you leave me again?"

"What if my father continues to beat me?" he asks. "You know, since I came back, he's called me over for dinner, and threatened me if I didn't go, and beat me? I don't want to rub off on Lily. That's part of the reason I left."

"And that's not only part of the reason I love you so much, but also part of the reason why I can't trust you." I look out the window. "But I also know that since you came back to me after two years, you'll never leave me again."

Tobias pulls to the curb. He unbuckles his seatbelt and starts to kiss me.

And I kiss back.

But after a minute, I pull away, out of breath. "We'll be late to the service," I say.

Tobias looks away. "Tris, is that all you can think about?"

I wipe away a tear. "His death haunts me, Tobias. You know why? He died because I wouldn't be with him."

"He killed himself because he was a coward," Tobias says. "He realized that you didn't like him, thus he would never be happy." Tobias turns to Lily, who's asleep in the back seat. "Let's go for a drive. I don't think we can handle the service, and plus, our daughter is already asleep. If we wake her up now to go to the cemetery, she'll just be cranky."

* * *

"Tris!" Christina shouts into the phone. "Where are you? What happened to you after the funeral? And is that Four in the background? Are you two back together yet?"

I shrug. "We're getting there. On our way back together, I mean. As for after the funeral, Lily was already asleep and we couldn't handle all the drama that would take place at the cemetery so we went for a drive. We ended up stopping around five to get something to eat, but by the time we walked around this little town with Lily, it was nearing nine o'clock, so we found a hotel."

"Thank God you're all right," Christina says. "So are things heating up between you two?"

I laugh. "I wish. I mean, it's clear he'll never leave me, but I just need some time."

Christina sighs. "Well, Will's pumped about tomorrow's date. But I still need your help. Which top would look best with that crimson top I showed you? The crème one?..."

I laugh to myself. "Sure, that one. Seriously though, I think Will would be fine with any."

Christina gags. "Not a teal one though. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or the next day. Hopefully, you'll be back by three so we can go get manicures."

I groan. "Well, bye."

I slam the phone shut as Tobias kisses my cheek and gets into bed. "I just set Lily down for bed," he says. Luckily, we got a room with a crib, and I'm glad, for once, that it'll just be Tobias and me tonight.

"Thanks," I respond. "Maybe we can get some sleep."

He smiles. "No problem. And getting sleep will be no problem either, since Lily was really tired from walking around the pier."

I laugh. "She sure had fun chasing the seagulls."

Tobias nods. Then he turns off the light and kisses my cheek, then slowly my neck. "Goodnight," he breathes, tickling my neck.

"Goodnight," I respond, feeling the same amount of love I felt for him before I found out I was pregnant.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! Thanks for all the comments and support and everything! However, I do have a few questions on how you guys want this story to go:**

**Do you want Tris and Tobias to automatically make up and move in with each other? **

**And how would you feel if when they moved in with each other, Marcus got involved? (As in: Marcus tried to hurt Lily, but Tobias got to her first and got a restraining order on his father...?)**

**How about if...well, I really don't know. Tell me what you guys want!**

**Onto the story!**

* * *

**Tris POV: (Still Present Day)**

_"You left me!" I scream. "Now how am I supposed to raise our daughter? Should I tell her you were a coward and that its alright?"_

_He takes off his belt, but goes no further, just plays with it in his hand and glares at me. "Turn around," he commands._

_My eyes widen in realization._

_He continues to order me around. First it's taking off my shirt, and next it's killing myself._

_Then he uses the belt and beats me._

_He beats me into a bloody, dirty mess. Then he smiles and continues to whip me._

_Finally, I swallow the fear and stand up, fighting every lash. "You're not your father!" I scream. "Don't be like this!"_

_"Don't tell me what to do!" he counters._

_But his voice falters, and I can tell it. Oh, how he does not want to be like his father._

_Finally, he wipes the belt that's stained with blood and fear on his sleeve and puts it back on._

_Then he takes out his gun and shoots me._

_Finally, I wake up._

* * *

I wake up, panting, to Tobias' arms wrapped around my waist. I gently start to push his hands away, but he starts to stir so I stay in bed.

Tobias presses his lips to my neck. "Morning," he whispers. His face goes next to mine perfectly, but his stubble annoys me slightly.

But that's not what's bugging me right now.

"Hi," I say, my voice full of annoyance.

"What?" he asks.

I shrug.

"Tell me," he whispers, his lips skinning my neck.

I push him away. "It was nothing. Just something stupid."

He looks at me sincerely. "If it were nothing, it would not be such a big deal."

I sigh, annoyed again. "And it's not."

Tobias looks at me. "I don't believe you," he whispers.

"Fine," I huff. "I had a stupid nightmare."

"About what?"

I hesitate. "You," I mutter. "You beat me." When I look back to Tobias, his gaze is cast down and he won't meet my eyes. "I know you would never do such a thing, but I just can't help but be afraid."

"Don't be afraid," Tobias whispers, pulling my back close to his chest. "We both know I would never do that. Don't live in fear, Tris. I have, and it did not go well."

I sigh and turn to him. "Then how am I supposed to live? For the past two years, I lived in despair and hope. Despair that you left me. And-"

"Hope that I'd return," Tobias finishes. "And here I am. Live in hope, Tris, not fear. Never fear."

And with that, he turns me around and hugs me tightly. When he pulls back, he lifts up my chin and kisses me.

I ignore it and kiss him, trying to ignore memories of my nightmare.

And he kisses me back, slowly at first, then with more passion than in two and a half years.

"We should get up," I say.

"Why?"

"Why not? Christina wants me back by one."

"We're only three hours away. And might I mention," he adds. "that our daughter will sleep that whole time."

I smile and kiss his cheek. "Lest I remind you that she's an early waker?" I through the covers that have covered me onto Tobias and get up.

Right as Lily starts to scream.

I look back at Tobias and smile. "See?"

He groans and gets up with me. "Let me get her," he says. "I need the practice."

I laugh. "Last year was the hardest."

Tobias shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure trying to wake her up before seven in the morning when she's sixteen will be the hardest."

I groan. "Thanks for reminding me, but if we're not living together then, waking her up will be your job."

He chuckles to himself and walks off to get Lily, as I collapse on the bed and think about my life.

And even though I don't know how long Tobias will be back for, I'm glad he's back.

* * *

"Ready?" he asks.

I nod and slam the door shut. "That was fun," I say. "But we brought no changes of clothes and stink."

Tobias laughs as he straps Lily into her car seat. Then he gets into the driver's seat and smiles at me. "Home?"

I look to Lily, then back to Tobias and smile. "Home," I confirm.

He starts the car up while I stare ahead to the road, thinking of home.

Finally, we get off the freeway.

But at the wrong exit.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "Our exit is one more down."

Tobias keeps his focus on the road. Then he pulls up to an apartment complex and gets Lily out of the car. "You best as well see my apartment."

"I've seen it."

"Yeah, and you were knocked out and when you finally woke up, you were still dozing in and out of consciousness."

I rub my tongue over my teeth and sigh, getting out of the car and slamming the door shut. "Fine."

Tobias balances Lily on one hip and unlocks the door. He sets Lily down and she runs into the place.

"Welcome home," Tobias says. Then I hear him mutter, "I hope this will one day be your home."

I sit down in one of the chairs. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"What?" Tobias asks.

"My dad," I manage out. "The real reason I've been hesitant to move in with you is because my dad would not be happy. True, I really don't want you to leave again, but I've started to trust you again."

"But what's the deal with your dad?" he asks.

I shrug. "Ever since I told him I was pregnant with Lily, he's been _really_ protective. And I mean really. Tobias, he treats me like I'm twelve. And he certainly doesn't like that you and I are reconciling. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my house."

I stand up, but Tobias grabs my arm. "Please, don't leave. Please. I get lonely here."

"Then you can watch Lily for the afternoon," I say.

Tobias' eyes light up and I kiss both of their cheeks.

"Thanks," I say, my hand on the door.

Lily runs over to me, and points to Tobias. "Dadda," she says.

Tobias grins a big, goofy smile and scoops up Lily. She squeals.

I don't want to leave.

But I should. I start to close the door, but Tobias stops me once again and kisses me.

* * *

"Where are you?" Christina shouts through the phone. "I got us appointments for one. It's one-fifteen."

"I know," I say. "And I'm sorry. But we just got back an hour ago and I just left Lily to Four."

"Well get here soon," she says.

"I just pulled in to the lot," I say, as I get out of the car and walk into the salon.

Christina lifts up one of her hands, the nails painted red, and waves me over. "Go pick out a color!" she insists.

I walk over to the colors and pick out a dark grey. As the lady starts to paint my nails, Christina looks over.

"Pick a different color."

"Why?" I say.

"Grey's not a color."

"I don't want something like hot pink."

Christina shows me her nails. "Look," she says. "They don't have to be pink. Just pick a color that shows Four you can still be girly and playful."

"Playful?"

Christina wiggles her eyebrows.

I smirk. "We have a two year old daughter, you know."

Christina sighs yet again, and I wonder yet again how Lily has made my friends grow up too fast.

Then she turns to the lady painting my nails. "Will you give her purple and silver flowers?"

"On what nail?" the lady asks.

"Thumb," Christina decides. Then she smiles at me. "What? Four'll like it."

As the lady starts painting on my thumbnails, I sigh. "Alright. What design are you getting, then?"

Christina smirks and shows me.

"Little hearts," I say. "That's cute."

"Tris!" Christina shouts. "Valentine's Day is next week! Why do you think I have hearts?"

I shrug. "Maybe you like hearts."

"I do. You know that. But I thought hearts were appropriate."

On the way back, I keep thinking about Valentine's Day. The past two ones I've had, I've spent alone with Lily, usually watching ABC or USA network sitcoms with a bowl of popcorn and glass of wine for me and an apple juice for her. My dad would be out working late, trying to forget any old memories of past holidays he spent with my mother and Caleb would either be out with Susan or another hopeless college girl in nursing school. That, or studying in his room.

But maybe this year will be different.

Because maybe Tobias will stay.

* * *

**A/N Hey everyone! I need to know what you want in the next chapter! Also, today's my birthday so it'd be nice of everyone to leave a review...DFTBA!**

**ALSO: ANYONE WANT TO FANGIRL WITH ME ABOUT THE TFIOS TRAILER?!**


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